A Sand in Time

Le Moment de Verite!

2006-07-23T01:46:00.000-04:00

Canada has been a really big help in my overall rediscovery as a person. I have somewhat found my old self once more, albeit not completely. It's been peachy keen and I must say that I feel that the tides of destiny is boding well for me.

My cousin has been a darling host. I shall repay in kind one day, somehow when my citizenship in the US will be consolidated and when I'm earning surfeit cold hard cash as well. I feel myself rising above my old self. Transcending above the worries and fleeting amid my hopes and dreams.

... I will acheive my success ...

I'm prepping myself in all aspects of my being for my move in California in a month or so. I hope everything comes in full circle. I need to reconstruct my plans into something fool-proof.

Once I step on the Californian soil, it'll be le moment de verite!!!

Canada, BITCH.

2006-07-20T17:00:00.000-04:00

I'm here! At last. Everything seems to be a-okay. I'm pretty much satisfied in what I have accomplished so far, but there are more gruelling tasks to be done. I needn't specify what these are.

Anyway, my cousin promised me a great weekend. I hope she means what she said. I'm so happy.

However, I better consolidate matters of consequence that I would most likely do in California for these are the things that will make me achieve greatness. Indeed, greatness is what I strive for and changing the world even a tinge is my dream.

I hope I fulfill my destiny.

I am free.

Freedom has it's responsibilities.

Pray, my friends, for my triumph.

I'm Going to Canada

2006-07-02T23:03:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Canada for a hiatus, then to California to establish myself.

I'm going to leave my life in New York, because I'm not happy with my mother. My Greek ex-stepdad spoke to my mother about this and found my side very reasonable.

She apologized and she agreed to let me go.

Now here I am getting ready to embark on probably the greatest journey of my life. I will be on a quest towards rediscovery. Where shall the tides take me? No one knows.

God help me.

Pray for my success.

Another Day, Another Hundred Dollars...

2006-07-01T00:57:00.000-04:00

I am so full right now. My mother, grandmother and I drank wine and scrabbled just a while back in honor of my newfound "stable" partime job in Manhattan. It was a sickening game. Why, you pose a query? Well, who would pit against an undisputed champion of scrabble who always used to play it when she was young until she graduated her masters in nursing? No one. My mother is a nurse practioner scrabbler whose skills cannot be debilitated by any form of alcohol. Hell, I think alcohol even augments her performance! That game was sickening indeed to the extent that even I cannot muster. Ack!

Scrabble does not require a replete know-how on vocuabulary. It hinges more on critical thinking and planning. It is somewhat like chess. Heck, I rule in chess more because it's more war-like. Scrabble, on the other hand, is more painstakingly abstract. Ugh... my defeat was disgusting. I tried my best to debilitate my mom's abilities through comedy, booze and all sorts of distractions yet none of them ever seem to have effect on her ultimate scrabbling ability points. If I shall have just bought a chess board, I shall own. Yes, I will be OWNING and PAWNING everyone in sight just as I did my friends in the Philippines. Apparently, Sun Tzu's Art of War does not quite merge with the synoptic rules and boundaries of this Scrabble.

Anyway, pathetic as it may sound, I lost two consecutive games in scrabble to an adult... ATROCIOUS!

Whatever. I shall master this game in the future, nevertheless.

Despite my ungraceful defeat in the silly board game a while back, I still managed to rise gracefully above my real practical troubles -- WORK. It was a yawner in the afternoon. Nothing much really happened except the activity of the monotonous sounds of keyboard being hit upon by impatient fingers getting anxious to finish its task at hand. But before that, the morning, was a different story.

As soon as I got in my reception desk, Dr. Verga immediately ordered me to make calls to his attorney, his patients and the like. Plus, I took a few calls from prospective patients desiring masectomy, alleviation of their post-surgery pains, re-visits and similar cases. I also had to take calls from his fellow doctors and his wife. It was a pretty interesting solo-flight for me a while back, but it did give me invaluable insight and experience regarding the world of medicine. Dr. Verga even discoursed with me about the importance of this experience on conversing with patients if I am really going to take medicine. Take for example my co-worker, Fran. She never really realized the "TRUE" meaning of "Patient" after she took this job seriously. These things that I have found myself into, Dr. Verga mentioned, isn't taught in medicine courses. He even cited his own personal background on medicine. He had to choose this course when he was still fourteen studying in France! Can you believe it? A fourteen year old boy choosing the path he's going to traverse in such an early age. I can't. But hey, Dr. Verga, my employer, is a living proof of that. I shall take his word and consider myself blessed for the invaluable experience I have found myself into.

What can I say? I feel pretty cool managing the whole office by myself. Dr. Verga practically gave me the keys of the office and left 3 hours before my eight-hour-dismissal from work. I felt so adult-ish. That's not all. I got my wage today, too. How lovely is that, eh?

Reprieve from "professionalism's" clutches

2006-06-28T21:58:00.000-04:00

Wednesday night, finally. After a day-long 'fuckin work, it has all come to an end -- temporarily. I go solo on Friday. Fran, my officemate, is going to have a well-deserved vacation in Florida with her beloved family which leaves me alone with Dr. Verga in the workplace on Friday. At first, work seemed tractable enough and surprisingly enjoyable enough for me. Now that hours feel like days and days seem like months, I'm sick of work. I just want to hit the hay and take my respite for all eternity like sleeping beauty. Unfortunately, I can't. Responsibilities are required and money earned. Even if it's UTTERLY against my will, I can't just mope about and lax around! Goddamnit! Mother keeps on making me do all these chores! But hey, it's got to be done. After all, I am the man of the house. I could recall the chores yesterday when I had to mow the lawn and give the shrubs and the pine tree a haircut -- THE PINE TREE!!!! Who in the hell would want to go up a ladder and make a perfect cone out of a tree with its leaves going to his face every time he pulls the trigger of the "tree-grooming-mechanism?" NO FUCKING ONE!!! I was literally in camouflage back then. I could've won the Vietnam War by myself with the 'effing camo I was in... Jesus.

Nonetheless, it was all worth it. At least I got something done. I rewarded myself with a very delectable strawberry cheesecake. I know it's bad. I just had to reward myself!!! ZIP IT!!!

As I had accomplished something yesterday, I also did do today. I worked my ass off for eight hours! I got my wage and scurried on home. It was no easy task, I can tell you that. I had to sit on a chair FOODLESS (except for a couple of apples and tea) and type on the PC, rummage through the files, answer the telephone and open the door in Dr. Verga's office! I swear, I thought I was going to faint. Luckily, I got to take the bus ride from Manhattan to Yonkers safely and slept inside there. I hope I didn't snore!

Well, I'm on duty the WHOLE fuckin' week next week except on the fourth of July and the weekend. Plus, I need to go solo on Friday. Wish me luck, folks.

Pray for me.

My Poem... A SEMI-FINALIST in the INTERNATIONAL LIBRARY OF POETRY CONTEST?!?!?!

2006-06-27T18:39:00.000-04:00

My mother saw an ad in the New York Times three months ago that states a poetry contest hosted by "poetry.com" or the International Library of Poetry is searching for freestyle poems throughout the country. She told me to reply since she knew of my love for words and it's synoptic potential. It wouldn't hurt anyway. And so, I did. I sent my latest and last, I was thinking at that time, poetry.

A couple of months have passed and we received a mail that I am a semi finalist in the competition. It was totally unexpected! The International Library of Poetry even said that THAT VERY POEM was excellent. It's a good thing some people can understand and appreciate my art since the people that have surrounded me before never really understood or have taken sufficient grasp to it. It's a good thing I did not lose hope. This has given me yet another purpose to accelerate my old and newfound talent. The poetry is titled "The Kiss of Beau Belle." It exhibits my sentiments towards a kiss of a certain someone that I miss presently.

Things change. I guess it's better off this way. Anyway, without further a due... The poem.

The Kiss of Beau Belle

Oh, lurid shades of grey
Pacify my undying taste
For love, for passion
For the permanence of place.

My incandecent core
Shield my apparent fervor
Girdle me with continence
Humble me with lore

As the leaves whisper the sound of stillness
And as the moon emanates power
Evoking the words of silence
Eliciting the warmth to flower

The world bloomed anew
Withing our private world of osculation
God was visible in you
In this divine intervention

Men search interminably for utopia
Not finding them to be true
Nonetheless, I have found my nirvana
In the kiss of me and you.

Mind you, being a semi-finalist in this contest means that this VERY POEM will be published in a book. Specifically, the book is titled "Immortal Verses." Lovely, no?

Beau Belle stands for "Beautiful Bella." Yes, I still think of her until now.

Windfall amidst a World of Calculations

2006-06-20T21:23:00.000-04:00

I have a driver's permit.

Yes, I can drive now. Surprised? Yes? I am as well. My mother and I went to this driving office thing with no idea what to accomplish. We just went there to settle a few papers and then the next thing I knew, the staff redirected me to a testroom to take the driving written test. I passed. Wonderful. Lovely. I never expected this. I didn't study AT ALL! What in the hell is that?!?!

I am now on my way to practicing this art that is maneuvering this metallic subject labeled as "the car." Wow. I have to go to this driving school for five hours. Thereafter, I have to take the practical test. I heard the parallel parking was a killer.

Anyway, this is totally unexpected. It just indulged my mentally-inclined ego a hundred folds. Jesus. There ARE divine forces at work here.

What else can I say? That's me. I celebrated my unprecedented success with red wine and a couple of brown ale from England. How lofty.

Wish me luck in the road test, folks.

Noontime in Manhattan

2006-06-10T14:34:00.000-04:00

Sure, I have a new job ahead of me. But before everything else comes in full circle, I have to get past the orientation which can really take a lot out of a person; well, that's my opinion.

Manhattan, 12:11 pm(5th Ave & 81st Street Co. Museum of Modern Art)

There I was, in the car with my mother. She told me it would be better if she were to bring me to work on the orientation day since it was her day off. As we approached the building of our destination, I saw an old looking lady standing on the doorway of what I recalled as the office of Dr. Verga, an Italian plastic surgeon who I was supposed to work for. I approached the pleasant-looking lady and asked her where "Agnes" was. Agnes was the person who referred me to this job; she is a family friend. I call her by the nickname "Tita Gingging." Apparently, the lady was the person who I am going to fill in whenever she's away; she was the secretary. She introduced herself to me by the name "Fran." I knew her name at that time because I make it a habit to know all the vital aspects in every important undertaking that I undergo. She told me to wait inside and take a seat while she clearly waited for a patient, she told me, who was supposed to have a belly-tuck or, in medical terms, abdomina plasti. (I have no idea how to spell it; just did so by the judgement of my hearing.)

When I entered the well-kept building, I saw, again, a pleasant looking person in a doctor's garment. I assumed it was Dr. Verga; I was correct. He spoke to me about filling in for Fran and how it was nice to meet me. I responded in kind and told him that it was, indeed, an opportunity to work for him because I was planning to take up medicine for college. After I said that, I saw a slight smirk on Dr. Verga's face. Thereafter, Fran entered with the patient. After which, Dr. Verga catered to the patient.

Fran showed me the works... everything. She spoke about how I should operate the telephone, find documents, fax documents, speak to the patients, log the schedule of appointments, find the patient's background forms, xerox the forms, get the insurance, talk to the insurance company if it calls Dr. Verga, and so forth. It was overwhelming to me at first, but I soon got the gist and feel of it. She also toured me around the comfy-feeling office that I just intently listened as she spoke away as the tourguide.

When the patient was done speaking to Dr. Verga, she and the doctor went to the front desk where Fran and I was. They were still confabulating. She expressed her utter gratitude of the operations that she felt better about herself and such that she cited a few instances. After which, she bid farewell to us. Surprisingly, people going to that office were so pleasant, they even took notice of little old me. Shucks!

Dr. Verga spoke to me as the patient went out the door. He discoursed about my salary, his work, his reputation and the like. Obviously, he is a big name in New York. He works in omnifarious places and manages to put up his own practice in that very office. I was astounded. We idle chatted for a while since Italians are inherently like that. In time, he and Fran told me not to worry about first day because he is always there to answer EVERY question that I have. What a nice guy. He's not like those anal doctors who often demands perfection. I love this job. I'm definitely going to be here the whole summer and LOVE every minute of it. When all was said and done, I jetted away to the car while they still went about their daily business.

Random Thoughts Amalgamated

2006-06-08T08:16:00.000-04:00

If you only knew, I would be with you to wipe your tears away
I would wrap you around my arms and never let you go
I will never let any evil touch your supple skin
And take the happiness from your heart.

Unconditionally, I idle in the devil’s playground hoping for sweet redemption.
How can an enamored soul survive the cesspool of bitterness?
His hope will set him free.
That a day of reckoning would unshackle your heart
From the illusive tether of blindfolded infatuation

He looks up to the heavens from the flames of the playground.
He simulates the look of the roiling waters of the sea.
In agony his body but not his soul, he seeks shelter in harmony.
His mind cannot be taken away by the devil.

The imperfect design of life demands such imperfect love,
So he shall give it -- He deems to be true.
Now is not the time to disclose this.
Distant from the April breeze he shall idle until time beckons him so,
Waiting for her shackles to rust away in the snow

He waits in quietude, from all that is ostensible.
He will wipe away the tears from her eyes when time beckons him so.
Now is not yet time; he knows this to be true.
But when it comes, he will replenish, revitalize and renew.

Oh, Just a Teenager Lobbying Against Smoking

2006-06-06T17:24:00.000-04:00

I know I've used to do this but I've turned over a new leaf. I've found out the uselessness in smoking. What do you get out of it? The temporary alleviation of stress? C'mon. There are other ways to do that. Do some cardiovascular workout for starters! You have no idea how much you are going to gain if you do quit this gruesome vice. I have experienced so myself. If I have enough time and patience in the future, I will write an entry regarding this issue -- An essay even!!!
Take my word for it. Smoking only makes things worse both physically and psychologically. Hell, drinking booze is even better than smoking, but do drink in regulation. DO NOT EVER combine these two vices for you don't know what effects they can do to debilitate your health. Do you not want to be as sexy as I am? lol... THEN STOP SMOKING?!
Ciao

Everything is Going to be Different

2006-06-06T08:13:00.000-04:00

The SAT has finally come to an end; things are going to feel really different hereafter. It's just that I've been studying my ass off the whole month of May for that thing, review course inclusive. Now that it has been taken and all hopes are up, I have nothing to do but rot yet again.

The results are going to be given three weeks after the test date. Hopefully, my sacrifices would not go in vain. I've stopped working out for two whole weeks for that test. That's equivalent to six workout days to buff up. And I'm telling you, that's a whole lot of days wasted. If you know me, you would even be surprised why in the hell I missed six whole days for just a 'friggin exam.

I used to not care about these things, but now I've realized that there are more things in life than one's physical attributes. That's right, it's the mental. Needless to say, who wants a dumb goodlooking individual? Nobody. Well, unless if you're that old guy who died that married Anna Nicole Smith who inherited his wealth.

Everything seems a-okay with me now. Life's pretty much not the fast-paced party life I used to have. But hey, people need to mature, and my time is now. All I have to do is accept it.

People say that remaining positive is the best course of action. Likewise, I feel the same way. Change is a consistent variable in life. There is no other way than forward. Acceptance is the key to rev your vehicle to overdrive. Furthermore, acceptance of maturity is a highway towards success.

I've got a job now. It's some secretarial type of job. I'm still going to get an orientation this Friday. The salary is $125/day. I would really want more for it. But since it's my first job here in New York, I have to settle with it. At least all I have to do is just sit for 8 hours, answer some calls and log it on the computer. Not bad for a job, eh? It's pretty much sinecure if I'll only take a few calls which I hopefully will do. Hopefully.

Again, I have to take a bus to Manhattan to go to the workplace. I don't mind. I just hope that everything will go smoothly and quickly.

Where is my life headed? What does the future hold for me? I reckon that these experiences' purpose go deeper than what I descry. The question is... how deep?

I can't deny that I miss my old life. I've spoken to a couple of friends over the phone last night and this morning, namely Mike Mercado and Bea Benassi. New York is a cold place to be in. Sure, I have a few friends, but my friends in the Philippines are irreplacable. I cannot find a spot to be my old, jaunty self again. People here are so different. But hey, I have to live with it.

Change is normal; all I have to do is accept it. It's like a bus ride and you're the bus driver. You're the only one who knows where to go and how you're going there. People enter and exit your bus at some point in time in some place; some people even stay the whole journey in that very bus. Sure there may be a few bumps along the road, but what're a few bumps for you if you want to reach your destination? Nothing. When the journey has come to a close, everybody leaves the bus, even the bus driver, to admire the scenery.

I'm Feeling Pensive

2006-06-01T16:50:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling pensive.

I didn't know I had blue eyes... COOL!

SAT is on Saturday, I'd better RELAX.

That's right, I'd better save my energy.

I had my hair dyed, is it fetching? lol... Most say I look JapaNICE... I mean, Japanese due to the hair color.

This May Be My Big Chance

2006-05-31T00:32:00.000-04:00

The Kaplan SAT course has finally culminated. The SAT is just a stone's throw away from today. I hope that things would bode well for me on Test Day, because I have sacrificed my share of pleasures to rack enough points to have a good, if not so great, score. As they say, "Do your best and God will do the rest." I know the quotation is pretty cliche-ridden but it's no jargon; it makes perfect sense.

You may be wondering why the title of this entry is like so. Well, a windfall has practically hit my mother which, in turn, might involve little old me. It has something to do with my talents, well-reknowned (and universally recognized) personalities, a specific undertaking and chasing my dreams. Mind you, this isn't my dream of becoming a doctor; this is my REAL dream. I hope that this won't be just another distant reverie; I have been haunted incessantly of this. I hope that this time God will recognize the potential within me to scurry on with this childhood dream and will help me go on with such a feat.

Prayers are whole-heartedly appreciated.

Wish me luck.

The Day in Manhattan with JC

2006-05-27T17:45:00.000-04:00

"Thought Medley," the entry prior to this one was written and there I mentioned something about meeting my ex-highschool classmate, JC Martinez; we were gong to meet in Manhattan since he's here for vacation. I haven't really seen any familiar face from CSA since I had my going-away-bash at my pad last April, so I was pretty much excited to see his 'friggin face again.

It went well. We basically roamed around the entirety of Manhattan ON FOOT and checked out some grade A caucasian meat. You seldom find those types of chicks in the Philippines. Thus, our eyes were peeled at everybody. Everybody decent enough to look at, that is. I remember this one hot-ass babe walked pass by us with some terrible looking dude and I was like, "What the fuck? I bet the guy's rich." The lady was pretty compelling given that she possessed a svelt body, a blessed posterior and was, in fact, erotically exotic. Why, you pose the query? She is French. I think French ladies are pretty magnetizing. It's their accent, dammit!

We gallavanted aimlessly until we got hungry. We ate steaks and baked potatoes drenched in some greasy liquid. Oil, perhaps?

After resting in some park at the heart of Manhattan, something caught our eye. It was some guy swimming inside a glass globe filled with water. Can you guess who the guy was? It was DAVID BLAINE!

We came, we saw and we left...

It wasn't really what we expected it to be. I guess they were still preparing for the ACTUAL presentation. I heard David was going to stay inside that globe for a couple of weeks. What would he think of next?

Rather than fulfilling our roles as itenerants, we just went on back to his hotel, The Manhattan Club. I waited for my mom to fetch me and she coerced JC to stay in the house for the night since he's leaving in a couple of days. After which, all of us called it a day.

A Look Back Down the Road

2006-05-25T22:35:00.000-04:00

The KAPLAN review is almost done, and here I am dreading the actual test day. What else is there to say or do? Well, I've really nothing to say about my ambivalent sentiment towards mentally, physically, psychologically (you get the drill) maturing towards success in which the SAT is the prime instigator. On the other hand, I have a number of things to say about what has been done.

The SAT review has brought me through deep introspection and circumspection of why I am here studying my ass off, and why in the hell I am not bothering to satiate my "personal" urges of being gregarious and foolhardy -- Future-related reasons: if I keep on going on the same path of nonchalance for academics, my chances of being a successful person will merely waste away, and so forth. I guess this undertaking has, in fact, brought the best out of me. It has given me a sense of prioritization and purpose, a mean of continence to acheive a goal, if you will.

Rather than brooding for my early departure from my motherland and family, I am actually thanking God for making me realize this passing month of May that there are sacrifices needed to be fulfilled to attain personal strength and, thereby, victory. However, nostalgia is but a normal part of life comparable to the air we breathe everytime we inhale. Mind you, I am not brooding; I am reminiscing. I cannot help but miss the "good old days" at my house in Manila. I certainly am missing the lessons my father and my grandmother used to have INCULCATED to my obdurate young self. I cannot help but be thankful for those formative days. Indeed, no amount of remuneration can compare to my childhood experiences and to the people who made it noteworthy, my family in Manila.

Burning "Butt-Fats" for a Cause

2006-05-23T13:16:00.000-04:00

As I was reading the New York Times a while ago before my thrice-a-week workout, my focus kept on deviating from the material I was reading, the corruption that transpired in Iraq after the U.S. effort to subdue the insurgency. The newspaper, instead of being a post-study measure to reduce my post-study stress, gave me such a headache. It made my thoughts diffuse in tangents! Apparently, I was worried about the upcoming SAT while I was reading something so stupid. If President George Bush didn't see that this malfeasance in the Iraqi government was coming, I would be more suited to take his place as president.

Anyway, if I would garble about the thing I just read, my idea would be tangential from the topic. Nevertheless, the material gave me a first-person view on how the world is pretty much fucked up right now. And you know what, I don't even care. That's why I think I'm crazy.

I have been studying my ass off for the past few weeks for the SAT. Okay, maybe ASS is a strong word; Let me replace it with... DERRIERE. I feel like I'm getting so worried that I might be epileptic-crazy on test day, if you know what I mean. I cannot handle this stress anymore. My financial and educational future is at stake here!

I went to this college convention in Westchester two weeks ago and I interviewed a number of prospect school representatives. One school, or program if you will, is "Sophie Davis."

What is this "Sophie Davis?" Let's cut right to the chase. Sophie Davis is an organization that selects seventy students fresh out of highschool a year to go straight to medical school for just SEVEN years. Unbelieveable? You better believe it. That's the 'friggin reason why I'm burning my butt-fats so badly sitting on a chair 5-6 hours every 'friggin day.

I hope I'll make it or I'll get crazier and rot in some horrid asylum in the middle of nowhere.

God help me.

2006-05-15T22:08:00.000-04:00

Must..Think...Happy...Thoughts...

2006-05-06T12:13:00.000-04:00

Everybody associates Tyron with optimism. Everybody thinks of him as this guy who never runs out of positivity rain or shine. There is a truth beneath the skin of joviality, though. What is that? Introspection.

What triggers my introspection, you ask? Its causation is, indubitably, dejection.

There are three kinds of love -- Eros, Philos and Agape.

Eros is erotic love, the love of the partnership of two opposite sexes. Philos is the love of friendship. Lastly, Agape is the ultimate form of love; it's love for all humanity -- comparable to Jesus' sentiments towards us, which concluded to his sacrificial decision to be crucified. Why am I talking about love anyway? Well, to be honest with you, one has been bereft from me.. Eros. It's really hard for me to elaborate right now. But when the time comes, I am sure to do so. Therefore, what can a man do without any form of inspiration whatsoever? Convert the negative energy into positive. Instead of brooding for a loss, I will make that loss a drive to be the best in whatever I will undertake. I shall replenish my spirit.

This world is a cesspool of negativity. That is why it is pretty much difficult to remain positive throughout your life. Therefore, remaining happy is a decision. A decision one must boldly decide amongst the distortion. I, myself, have to rinse myself of this taint towards my mother. She's trying her best to make up for the time that she left me. I shall give her the chance to make things easier for her and for me as well. Why brood over the past if it has already passed? We learn from it to guide us. We must cherish this moment as if there is no tomorrow.

Today is a gift. That is why it is called the PRESENT.

Intensive Reviewing Galore!!!

2006-05-05T12:59:00.000-04:00

Galore??? Well, not quite.

I'm reviewing for the SATs, and I'm telling you, it's a killer. It's such a hassle to hit the books on my vacation, but what can I do? It's pretty much inevitable if I don't want to be a bum my whole 'friggin life. My schedule for Kaplan is T-W-Th at 5pm. I have to take the bus while going there, so that means I have to make room for an extra an hour and thirty for the travel time. No sweat. It's better than sitting around the house the whole day, no? We're a total of 9 students in the class. So far, I've gotten to know a few people. They're pretty nice people, I hope that I'll find some friendship sometime in the future with this bunch. The studies, however, are easy. But when it comes to the quizzes, especially Math, I'm gone. I just finished answering this online Math quiz in kaptest.com and I was so disappointed with my score (I'd tell it to privies, not online)! Well I'm glad that Kaplan's assuring my higher score guarantee. Because if my performance is conclusive to my score on the test day, I'd pretty much be beef jerky. I need some intensive overhaul work-wise.

This is the turning point of my life. I need to succeed in the SATs it's whereby I shall succeed in my life, financially and morally, as well.

Thought Medley

2006-05-02T10:59:00.000-04:00

It's been a few days since the last time I entered a journal in this blog, surprisingly. I couldn't believe it myself, me being a man of action and all. *Mister T backround music comes to existence* Let me see... What happened a few days ago?

*Backtracking begins; the screen swivels as if remembering an event*

It was a few days ago...

We, my mother, my grandmother on my mother's side and I, were going to locate the review center of Kaplan in White Plains, New York. We couldn't have done it with the help of our dear family friend, Mrs. Cecille Serici. I've known her for a year now, and she has been a darling lady to me like she is to everybody else. Mrs. Serici gladly drove us to the place and back. She told me what bus to take, what route its likely going to go to, yadda yadda yadda. After that, we went to buy some groceries down some Chinese Grocery in White Plains. As usual, we bought a lot of greens and stuff that make little children barf (Not me though, if stuff like those were liquid, I'd drink 'em like a fish!). As always, being the most physically able person around, I was the muscle. That's not a bad thing, of course I'd be more happy to do a gentleman's job; I'd carry every bag intently as if they were weights. After which, we drove back to the Serici household with me assisting Mrs. Serici to her domicile after she parked her car. When we got in, I was introduced to the man of the house, Mr. Serici. He's a dentist-slash-Italian-aspiring-baseball-player-gone-rusty, according to his wife. We discoursed to each other about the SATs and how it's going to suck for me for a while, after that I said hi and bye to their 2 young Italian daughters.

Which reminds me, the Serici's don't just have two daughters, they have three. Diane is the youngest, Nicole is the middle-child and, lastly, Lauren is the oldest-slash-most lovely little rosebud I have ever seen. I remember last year, when I was introduced to her, I was drop dead speechless. She reminds me of Natalie Portman. This year, though, she grew a bit bigger as in fatter. Nonetheless, she's still sexy. *giggles*

What else? Hmmm.. Let me see...

I've been going to the gym lately, and I've enjoyed every bit of it! But there is a thing in the gym, I got to know this one female instructor/nutritionist there. Her name is Gelsomina Rinaldi. She has been doing these strange stares sometimes at me and she's awfully pretty friendly. I think she digs me (Say it with me... "YEAH RIGHT."). But really, I think so.

Now I'm going to depart to Manhattan to rendezvouz with my classmate, JC Martinez. He's here for vacation. I'm going to go there by bus, hope I don't get mugged or something, though. It's been a long time since I've last seen him, I can't wait!!!

Ho-hum Today

2006-04-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

I didn't really do anything today but study, stay online, chat with a few friends and buy some stuff in the mall. Our place is really convenient, I tell you. We've got everything surrounding us. Take for example, the mall is just a few blocks away, the deli is just a couple, the grocery is near the mall and the movie house is just around the corner. Convenient, eh? You know what the best part is? The best part is that the GYM is actually in the mall, I could just walk going there! Wonderful. That's not all, the gym is adjacent to GNC (General Nutrition Center). What does that mean? That means I can buy all the supplements a bodybuilder can ask for, from whey protein to glutamine (an amino acid)! Whoa!!! Call me shallow or call me weird, I don't care. It's just that these opportunities are inundating me in such short notice! What's better is that I'm taking these review classes for the SATs. The tough part there is the studying and the cost, which is $999. What the hell is that, right? Nonetheless, they have a guarantee; if you don't get the score that you like, you can review with them again FOR FREE!!! Americans really know how to sell quality products and services, eh? I hope I get my money's worth in this KAPLAN. I'm kind of worried about the way things are going to turn out, but it's all good. There isn't any road to go to than forward, right? So, whatever, I'll just go with the flow. I thereby make a solemn vow to myself, with God as my witness, that I, thereafter this blog entry, will improve my entire well-being generally. Amen. (^_^)

The other side of the coin is, sadly, nostalgia and homesickness. I know this'll pass eventually. I miss the times when I spoke with Nikki on the phone everytime she has a problem, which is MOST of the time. Nikki, you better find a new metaphorical brother over there or you'll break. I miss the Speakers and Actors Company bloopers and gimmicks, instigated by Marc Besa. Ah, Marc Besa, that guy's irreplacable. The Bern and Cecille issue, I miss you guys!!! I'm sorry I didn't get to go to the tea bonding. Mike coerced me to play DotA. *laughs out loud* I miss my bestfriend Mike!!! Damn it!!! Go back to Manila so I could contact you already!!! Please?

I would love to have a "the crew" reunion one day. The crew here in America should have a road trip!!! Johannes Ronquillo better plan something! I miss that guy, too. He's pretty quiet but funny. I hope he's still the same ol' Joe! He's the one that introduced me to the Red Hot Chili Peppers addiction. When we're out on the road, I'm definitely going to play "Road Trippin'."

"Road trippin' with my two favorite allies. Fully loaded, we've got snacks and supplies. It's time to leave this town, it's time to steer away. Let's go get lost somewhere in the U-S-A..."

It's going to be great...

In A Time Long Since Past

2006-04-27T13:26:00.000-04:00

My highschool life...

Ah yes, those were the days. I stumbled upon a graduation photo when I was rummaging through my friends' friendster profiles.

I'm going to miss these people. I hope that we will meet again some other time when destiny will again make our roads intertwine.

Kudos my friends. Godspeed...

Me with some of my favorite people (April 1st, 2006)

I'm O-KAY (Trust me...)

2006-04-26T18:32:00.000-04:00

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered how long you've gone through your life? You just staring out in the dark oblivion of the past to the future? You just looking for the traces of childhood in your face, the countenance of joy, love and hope? I have. I was thinking how the time passed by so quickly. Quick enough, I might add, that one, such as I, didn't notice it pass by. I'm not brooding for a lost past and a regrettable future, I'm just being downright nostalgic.

Where have the good times gone?

I am so missing everyone right now.

The family... The Mike (Or the bestfriend)... The Nikki (Or the Metaphorical Sis)... The Besty... The Speakers and Actors... The Besa (Or the Wingcom)... The Agcaoili and the Gumby... The Party People... The Chairmen... The Bukake Boys... The Bobet (Or the Coach in the Gym)... The RX experience... The Gym buddies... and... The Bella.

Nevertheless, sacrifices are to be made to reach the pinnacle of success, am I right? It's not like I'm actually phasing away from the good old days, I never will. I am just sacrificing personal contact with it. This experience would just pass on by swiftly, like the good old days, I would hardly even know it did. When that moment comes, I'm already a bonafide man of success. And as for the good old days, it will be relived just as how it is supposed to be.

A Turbulent Flight

2006-04-24T20:28:00.000-04:00

We all know, if not, some, that my mother left me to seek for success when I was a little baby. She told me that she didn't want to be stepped on like that by the Teylans anymore, because according to her she was pretty much abased, so she had to go to New York IMMEDIATELY to prove them wrong. She told me that my grandmother, the one that raised me up as a fine young gentleman, said that she would hand me over to her when I would grow up eventually. Thus, her departure on such a short notice. That's her side of the story. Now she's getting me back for all those lost times. I asked her if she just went here for a matter of pride. She replied no. She went to New York to prove the Teylans that she wasn't a woman to be stepped on. At the back of my mind I contemplated, "At the expense of losing your child?" She said that was a sacrifice she had to make, in my dictionary it was a matter of pride.

A mother cannot start at 18, because she has to start in zero. It doesn't matter who your biological parents are, you didn't ask for life. The people who matters the most are the ones that RAISED you.

My grandmother raised me, and now I'm leaving her for this woman that I barely even know who claims she's my mother?

The initial days of my stay here in New York has been okay. It's not the greatest experience but, nonetheless, educating. I learned a lot of neat stuff here like cooking, cleaning, fixing my stuff, studying real hard -- I know what your thinking and I admit it, I was a bum before. I eat a lot of healthy food here, as I mentioned in my previous post, and I think that life cannot get any better than this. Well, except that my mother is a bit hard up due to the antebellum house she just procured. We're worrying a lot about my studies too. I really wasn't a great pupil, I have to say. That's why she's enrolling me in KAPLAN. It costs $999, I might add. It's some review classes for the SATs. The SATs are going to determine if I get in college or not. That's why, from this day forward, KAPLAN is my life, period.

I have to thank my mom for everything she has given me, I have to give her that, although she lacks experience as a mother. There are a lot of opportunities, like going to New York for example, that I, myself, cannot attain that she's given me. But despite these blessings, she somehow neutralizes it with her attitude. She is the "jealous" type. She wants all the attention to herself. Take for example, the reason my Greek stepfather, Athanassios Petrotos, and my mother are getting a divorce because she is simply hard to manage. She does NOT respect privacy. She implied that she rummaged through my "going away" letters and read it, because she thinks that there is something in the letter that she read that I am hiding from her. It was Maddi who wrote me the letter, by the way. After reading it, she asked me if I already had "SEX" with her. Can you imagine? My god... I was like, "Mom read it again."

She maybe a nurse practitioner, but my comprehension level and EQ exceeds WAAAAY over hers. Americans even find her fuckin' slow whenever were together. I have to admit, I'm a tad embarassed of her.

We argued that she should've asked me first before opening it. I mean it's a respect for privacy, right? After that I just found her saying, "You're just 18, you're saying that you have privacy?" I retorted, "Everybody has privacy, you want me to ask everybody that I see if they would agree with me?" After a few word battles, with her mother as my ally, she admitted she was wrong and that she ALWAYS is wrong. What the fuck is that? She has no 'friggin right to imply shit and use reverse psychology. What? Does she think I don't know that?

She's jealous of my grandmother and my father, basically the entire Teylan clan, because my heart is close to them despite distance. She wants to take things fast. Little does she know that I will get closer to her over time.

Hope she learns in the nick of time before I throw a conniption and leave her for dead.

A New Beginning

2006-04-23T21:33:00.000-04:00

People have this ideology of a new start; that you should wash your hands clean of what happened beforehand. I beg to differ. One must know his start to proceed to the finish. Remember your humble beginnings and you shan't stray off the path that you are traversing. If you don't know where you began, you wouldn't have any goal in the first place, right? The path may be tumultuous, meandering, there may be the occasional highway robbers, but nonetheless, you're going to reach the end of the road in the nick of time. Well, as long as you walk the pathway expeditiously. My point is, I miss the Philippines and the family that raised me to be a man, the Teylans.

I'm in New York presently. It's really not bad. The house is simple, moderate, manageable, warm, carpeted and lovely. It's a great place for self-improvement. It's also a place of countless possibilities. I love the weather, but there is still something in my guts that call me to the motherland. I will come back, eventually. It will be only for visits though. I'm all established here now, destiny beckons and I hope that it shall be sweet.

I'm happy with this place. Unlike my diet in the Philippines, the one here is pretty much wonderful. I eat a lot of greens, leafy ones too, only lean meat, some livers, skim milk, fruit juices and that's just the beginning of it. New York means NEW BEGINNING for me. I'm pretty much enjoying the dork-ish life over here -- the health-buff lifestyle and the study-study-study habit. Chores and reading has become my modus operandi each and every 'friggin day. I ain't complaining about it, it's actually biding my time. Whoopfrigityhoo.

I'm going to start to go to the gym again tomorrow, I can't wait! Something new to bide my time.

2006-04-23T21:17:00.000-04:00